The Struggle is Real
I struggle with food. For years I have believed a lie that my worth is directly related to the number I see on the scale. Lately, God is showing me the lies that I have not only believed, but projected onto others. I know God’s love is unconditional. But yet, deep down in the darkest place, I felt unlovable if I was overweight. I have believed the devil’s lies that no one could actually love me if I was overweight. And, sadly, God has shown me that I believed that about Him too. I actually believed that God would love me more if I was thin, and be unhappy with me if I wasn’t.
That is what I projected upon God. But that’s the beauty of our God, He gently uncovers those secret places in us and loves us through the healing! Without shame, guilt, or condemnation God uncovers our sin, and brings us into a sweet spot with Him. Those are the moments that I am so grateful for. It’s in those times of intimacy with God that He brings us peace, forgiveness, and freedom. I cherish those moments of God’s tender grace that uncovers our ugly places and replaces them with grace, love, and a closeness to Him that is irreplaceable.
I am so thankful that God’s love IS unconditional. God does not love only those that are skinny, or those that are successful, or those that seem to have their lives together. God loves. That is WHO He is according to 1 John 4:8.
As I was sitting in church last week, the Holy Spirit whispered something in my ear, ” God doesn’t make crap.” Yes, that is exactly what He said. He is the God of the universe, all knowing, all powerful, and He does not make mistakes. He has made each and every person with precision, not leaving one detail to chance. Each and everyone of us are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). The scripture goes on to say, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” God does not make mistakes, and He did not start with you.
In the past, I have treated my struggle with eating healthy as a personal issue, not a spiritual one. I have made compromises, justifications, and excuses about my ups and downs of eating healthy and then circling back to unhealthy habits. But the truth is, anything that keeps us from God is a spiritual issue. I began to realize this more and more through reading Made To Crave, by Lysa TerKeurst. Our struggles go much deeper than we realize.
Oh how I would love to say that I have it all figured out…I don’t. And like Lysa, I do not crave celery sticks. But what I do crave, is Jesus. I have His unfailing love and grace. And I have a hunger for Him, and a promise that nothing separates me from His presence. And for that, I am thankful beyond comparison and have a newfound strength to move forward and try again, but this time, in His strength and unfailing love.
Prayer: Lord, thank you so much for this truth, that your love is unconditional. Forgive me for believing anything other than your truth, and for making your love into something that it isn’t. I receive your love completely. Continue to uncover lies that keep me from Your truth and presence, and help me to let go and trust you completely. In Jesus’ name, amen.